Monday, August 25, 2008

cursed sleep

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This a song by Bonnie Prince Billie, a folk singer who puts poetry to music.


I slept sweetly unpretending
that the night was always ending
she breathes lightly right next to me
and I dreamed of her inside of me

and in my dream she sang so sweetly
a melody I hope to sing
so enslaved by her sweet wonder
it cut my legs and ?? hunger

she sang my name and so engulfed
and I cried and felt my legs fail
in her arms I trembled electric
and she led me and she held me

then waking she was older still
and holds my love against it's will
in spell cast with her palms extended
cursed love is never ended

cursed eyes are never closing
cursed arms are never closing
cursed children never rising
cursed me never despising

oh I am loving always holding
epic song it tells of how
of she and I are living now

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Raggaedy Ann Doll

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Say hello to me, your raggedy Ann doll
Im a doll that takes all the shit you have in store
Yes darling I take it all

We may have not met
But I know you’ll have fun with me
That is something that I can bet

You can twist my arm
Throw me around your room
Or fake me with your charm

What the hell do I know?
My head is hollow
No matter how much I hurt, to u is where I go

I am there for you to hit or hug
To love or hate
To help or bug
And when u get tired of playing with me
You can always stuff me under your bed
Pain is something I can’t see

Well I’ve got news for you now boy
I am not your raggedy ann doll no more
I refuse to be your toy

This doll has evolved into a woman
I rufuse to be torn and abused
I am no longer your fun

I’m leaving you behind
This china doll
doesn’t need your kind

So don’t even try to misuse
me or abuse me when u want
I am not something u can reuse

I won’t take it at all
Honey its time to say good bye
to your raggedy Ann Doll


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The ocean is a funny thing
calm if you don't touch it
silent, still, unmoving
yet it thrashes when stepped on
when traveled on to get to shore

Silent, still, calm, peaceful
It is big vast and beautiful
In the depths where Triton is said to reign
Lightning bolts to his disposal
he torments those who pass his territory
ready to sacrifice and unwilling to forget

Fierce and strong, ready to erupt
He stirs up the clouds paints them gray
Who is brave enough to

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My rant

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So I decided to make this into a rant/poem page simply because its hard for me to generate words in fashion that can be put in a poem. I haven't left the apartment for a week, and haven't used my phone for close to a week now. Why you might ask... well because I left my charger in my boyfriend's car.

I've been really bad about loosing things. I've lost my wallet, keys (twice) my work key, and several things. For some reason its been really bad this year. I guess its because of the amount of stress I've been' going through. I seem to get distracted a lot, and I can't seem to focus on one thing.

I just dropped the education program and need to look for a back up plan. I'm out of a job and am having a hard time finding a job. My life seems to be falling apart, 23 and still not done with school... wow life does suck.

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It's hard being true
to your culture
when culture has been
replaced by a television set,
and family game night is replaced
with TV dinners and an episode
of "Family Feud."
Quality time is something of the past.
And the beagle whimpers
as we spend hours online
teaching our PC useless tricks.
Originality is still okay
But only if it's in fashion.
More is good
anything less
is worthless.
Good old American pies
are foreign.
They don't mean nothing
if it's not from
McDonald's.
War is our most practiced art.
And count on us
to butt in
where we're not needed.
Yes, the land of plenty -
We're a great big melting pot
stealing our identity
from other countries
Me? I am like no other
I am an individual
I am ...
an American.

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When clutching my head,
and dragging my knuckles
across the ceramic floor
wasn't enough to escape
your abuse,
I threw myself on concrete
and prayed I would drown
in blood.
Quiet and unnoticed
But even that didn't work.
My body was a painting
of your destructive results,
and my shame and pain
added the final touch.
Because then I was too weak
to spill myself to the ones I love.
Because then nothing else mattered
but you
but I
but us.
Now I no longer have the strength
to carry on your burden.
No longer will I risk
everything I have lost
all over again.
I grow sick
looking at these wounds
we have both given me.
And I cry every night
because four years with you
got me a contract with the devil.
I'll rip our hearts apart
and from the scattered pieces
I'll quickly pick up my remains

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Kavita (luvikavi)
I am a 25 year old loud mouth by my words yet soft spoken at heart. I have love affairs with new thoughts, ideas, controversies, movies, news,helping those in need and politics. If something tickles my fancy, I will blog profusely about it. The world is filled with nonsense, and writing helps me grasp the reality, whatever that may be.
I graduated from Northern with a Bachelors in Health and Human Sciences, with an emphasis in family and individual development. I hope to GOD my thousand and thousand dollars in loans has prepared me enough for Grad school which I will be venturing off into this Fall of '10. YIKES!
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